Karma, breaking up and qada' and qadar...

I believe in karma..i also believe in qada' and qadar, of coz...
I have this weird fight when im with him..always this weird fight...

Orang A: Sudahlah u...
Orang B: I dah, u tu yg xpernah dah..
Orang A: I dah lahh...
Orang B: U dah apa..u xpernah dah..kalau u dah, u xlayan dia..

and this scene will be repeated countless of times throughout the relationship due to because of the "guy"...we always fight about jealousy..weird huh?..bcoz of his "life", supposedly me, that will be the jealous type..but in fact he is the one that controls me more than i actually does to him..

So back to karma, i do believe what you give, you will get back tenfold..so means if you do evil once, then somebody else will do evil back to you tenfold and so on with goodness..
.
Back then when the guy do back things to me, i choose him to replace the guy.. i choose a Sun to replace my night..but in the end the Sun doesnt choose me back..I did regret the decision of coz, sometimes..

Never the decision to love a person but the decision of why we cant be friends now..
coz relationship complicates thing, as you can never go back to being friends. And he was my bestest friend ever (for a guy back then)..he was the answer to all my question about my life back then..so when i choose love over friendship, we cant go back to just being friends..but in truth, i dont know how anymore..but the matter of fact is,i never did try to contact him again..its been like 4?5? months i guess since i last saw anything about him and this includes facebook.

coz for me, when he made the decision of not choosing me, that means he wants out,he doesnt need me anymore. so of coz a girl like me, thinks " Okay, fine...i can do this..i can be strong like you too.." I just throw away all the details, all the stuff and never did look back..breaking up is not easy..hell, i still feel bitter about him ..i still feel like "Eff you man, seriously Eff you..".."i have this gut to leave everything behind but why cant you just choose me!..why cant you just be like me and pick up the pieces together with me??.." ...but he did choose the other choice..im still bitter sometimes but it had to be done..

so the karma in my life is that, i had been a cheater, cheated and a cheat. does not include me only. sometimes with a guy doing it to me.or the guy in my relationship doing it with other people. so conclusion is be good. be strong. be truthful. coz think with your age not your shoe size.

Later~

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up (Official Lyric Video)

Wow...Hundreds of meaning in this song...~

I wont Give Up..I'm Still Looking UP...

I told you so and my mistake..

"I told you so"....

I hated that word..i remember falling in love and people saying "Jangan, dont do this mistake"..but me being stubborn," Its ok, my mistake so i want to learn"..But hell, i already give this fucking loser countless and countless of opportunity..Its been ages and finally all the things that keep me coming back to him is finish..FINALLY!, no more calling up and asking for the "thing"..So, right now its just about me and him..but you never learn huh?..dont tell me my perangai is sucks when your perangai is like an effing child..i choose to lose you ages ago, i can do it again lah LOSER!!...

I always mengharap..my mistake huh?...haishhh...harap people call me and say that they miss me just as much i miss them, harap people change and be more like a person than a child..harap that you love me more and choose me than anybody else..but its just that "harap", its not reality...maybe i can love them always and forever but i gonna stop this thing of "mengharap"..coz in reality of life is that, "when people said goodbye it means that, "Bye".."...
I always always gonna love him, the OTHER him, not the loser him, the "sun" him....i already started to forget his voice and laugh and it makes me wanna cry so hard but its for the best i think..and its just time to move on cos i ve got big plan for 2012 and maybe its better to be alone than to handle all this feelings..

Dont cry when the sun is gone, because the tears wont let you see the stars ~ Violet Parra



Later...

My one and only

You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day
Lose myself in time just thinking of your face
God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all
You'll never know if you never try
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

If I've been on your mind, you hang on every word I say
Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all
You'll never know if you never try
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy giving up your heart

Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it
Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it

Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it
Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me I've learned it

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

Come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

P/s: The words of Adele " This song is about me loving him then but right now i just dont love him anymore"..

Weird, emo and psycho..

I miss you, sun..

Later..

2012..

2012..Happy New Year?...pfffttt....