Opposite of war is not peace..Its CREATION...

i was so in love..in love with love..thats what i called when everytime i do fall in love..i only fall a handful of times..got a lot of this thing called "flair-flair"..but when i did fall in love, i fall hard and it hurts when i wake up...

This one guy..he was the one..yup he is..when Mulan, Ariel and Jasmine talk to me about who is my current bf..i will always and always compare all the upcoming guy with this one..but nobody will have the same feel as him..know why?..coz he passed away..

the moment i heard about the news, i was so devastated..keep on crying till morning..back then, i knew who are my true friends..They were by my side in an instant..

but....life moved on rite?..its hard, but you just have to pick up, shake it off and pretend to be happy for awhile and maybe the smile will stick to your face for the whole day...

* this is just a rambling post..coz my head is so jumble up rite now, the story i want to write will not came out right..so later..

Bosan

Hahaha...Xder FB so focus kat blog la pulak..leh x...biar ah..kat sini nobody leh comment or like or whatsoever..

sux kan 2011...hurmmm...nk tunggu for the year 2012 n hopefully my life will be much much better, insyaallah..later in other post i will tell my sadness..coz gradually i need this therapy of writing everything down to forget all my heartache and broken heart..

later..♥

i feel like a stupid person right now..
i cant stop from feeling wanted to cry and scream..
i cant believe the person i trust and love can make me feel so bad about them..
i cant believe its been a year since i am active with writing in my blog..
this blog supposedly to be my confidant towards my growing period of life after uni life..
after all the studying and stressing..i still feel stress when im working..
its true when people says that " Life when we are just little kids , are better than the life that we have to think about money, career, relationship, colleagues, bosses..
its sucks ..
life now totally blows of out my mind..
i can never imagine this is what my life is right now..
this is what i feel, and this feeling is what i hate..

Thinking of Joining the Circus~

Right now im thinking of joining a circus..Seriously!..
I need to find new things to do in my life. Im stuck in a stupid boring job. Have no stupid boyfriend. Dont like my current friend. SO basically i NEED to join the CIRCUS..

do we even have a circus in Malaysia?..I think not~..the woo is on me~

~i miss loving him~

i miss loving him~
i miss all the talks~
i miss all the laughs~
i miss all the lepaking~
i miss all the idiots thing he does~
i miss how he can be weird sometimes~
i miss that way of him when he dosnt talk~
i miss him being "mysterious"
i never did understand the WHOLE him but i still miss ALL of him~
i miss how he can make me happy~
i miss the way i smile when im with him~
i miss his smile~
i miss the way i can get flustered just by sitting beside him~
i even miss him smoking that stupid cancer stick~
i miss when the time is not NOW..
i miss the memory~
i miss HIM~
i miss LOVING him~
i know its onesided but i still miss it~
i know he doesnt look at me THAT way but i still miss it~
i know he is happy right now~
but i wish i am happy beside him~
i know im supposed to be move on a long time ago, trust me I AM MOVE ON~~ i have a lot of relationship but i still miss the thing i have for him~
maybe its a mistake, maybe its a lesson for me but for now i just want to say I miss him~

i still do cause for me he is my true First Love ..even he doesn't reciprocated the feelings..i still do feel jealous for his girlfriend(yes i say it~!..like Pink say "so what")

i wish we can meet and talk like before..
i wish i never did like him THAT way..but i do and i never regretted it..
i wish we are stuck at seventeen(him 17 and i 16)
i wish that we are close like old days..

i know this is just a rambling from my part..i know he dosnt miss me like i do for him..i know its sad and pathetic but i still feel this feeling so i cant do anything about it..so i miss you so much that everytime i do remeber you i cant get you out of my mind that fast and the only way is to do this stuff to make me feel better..

i know you will never read my profile so whatever~~ miss you so much,52625

a post~~

im working rite now!..weehooo..big suprise?..yes i know big suprise to me too~!..
its like the moment when you finish the last exam in ur final life,i get depressed coz my friend had already gone to at least one interview or have working experience and i dont have any of that..
so to make long story short, i just grab the first opportunity that makes sense to me.
im not regretting or anything, just suprised that i am working..

me the youngest of all my friend and exclassmates, is right now working at Kepong..hahahaha...
the story of the century right?..

and to add like weird twist to the story, im not that happy..not happy meaning i hating my job..just i want to grab other better opportunity out there..so thats is like predicament right now..

ok..im ending my post with a kinda sad remark above..
later~

confession...

its been ages..
n to make me write this one is because yesterday i blow up my usually cheery face at my one of closest fren..how i CANT blow up..when shes going to tell a guy and a guy that lives with the person involved..that i like him!..ok fine maybe i like him..maybe i feel awfully piss off when i know hes involved and more piss off when the person hes involved once told me off about him..and to add salt into that ..i kinda like him as a fren first so when people start making me stop the flirting ..i truly gladly back off from that ..
so when something involving him and involving his name, of course im going to be piss off..she is happy with him..and i dont want to know anything about them being happy coz i know they are happy..so i dont want any stupid thingy in the past to make me feel sucks..
so im insecure ..i hate people knowing that but hell who isnt..! i have very bad rep of falling in love / like with person that i am close with..i have a very bad rep also of being the sweet, cute , lovey person but not the person to get in to a relationship with..

so im AM INSECURE! i hate guys more after the last incident involving certain someone back in highschool , never did fully hate him enough cause typical me to like people first as a fren than a potential crush..
so when the incident of blowing up happen..i do realize its kinda stupid, but seriously !..i am a private person .. i dont advertise my whole entire secret to anybody, and i am truly protective to all the persons that i like..even that person dont know, i do back them up when people is talking shit about them..

so when this incident happen in front of a guy fren of this person..what is my first reaction..?..
of coz to shut the mouth before letting out the NAME..
i hate the situation...i hate him and i hate for confessing it to like it to my frenz..coz im not into him that much ok..! im in to somebody else..its just he a nice guy,and i tend to like people that are nice and easy to handle me..not some jerk guy like my bestfriend who by the way the story need a new entire post ....so we are cool frenz rite now..not that COOL like before the couple with her..but cool enough..so i just want to maintain that.. i dont want any gossiping around my back, i dont any people to start stories that are stupid and presuming..cause im hell will be very piss off..im into gossiping, but im not into making stories about relationship ..except involving my best friends..like i said thats entirely new post to tell THAT story..

so i dont want to stop talking with him ..and ok im not talking, but tomato,tamato...patato,potato..get what i mean?..